:)

 

When i worked back home, in Windsor, there was an older woman who drove fork lift in the plant... i didnt work directly with her, but she delivered parts to the line i worked on, so i saw her driving around all the time, and she saw me.

one day as i was headed out for lunch with my buddy jamie, she stopped her fork lift and turned it off to talk to me for a second as i passed.

she said "you have the most beautiful smile... when i see you walk by and you smile, your whole face lights up. i havent met many people in my life who can do that. its infectious." and then she smiled at me, and i smiled back and said thank you. :)

i think that THAT was probably the nicest, most sincere compliment that anyone has ever given me... and i smiled at that woman every time i saw her until my last shift there. it stuck with me. i smile a LOT!

what is the nicest thing you can remember anyone saying to you without a underlying motive?

home

Its mornings like these... That its hardest to leave.

When I vaguely remember him brushing my hair away from my face in the dark and almost waking me with a soft sweet kiss...

When the echoes of his voice whispering that he has to go to work... And that he loves me... sweeten my dreams until the sun creeps thru the blinds... And I'm awake... that I realize I am alone in the bed.... And I don't want to go anywhere, or be anywhere but here.

Its mornings like these... When the world is quiet enough that I can hear the sound of waves calling me to the shore thru my window...

Its the way the sand here feels between my toes...
And the way my heart feels almost whole...
When I'm home...

Even if I'm alone...

That make it hard for me to leave...

mornings like these. 

ill never forget you...

We were like sisters for so long.... 

there was a time when i couldn't go a day without talking to you twice...

i know we drifted apart ... 

you moved away... 

i got married... 

our daily conversation faded and became random IM's and forwarded emails....

but i will never forget you.

All the good times and REAL laughs... 

Our road trip to the east coast... all 5 of us crammed into that little cavalier...

taking our boys out on Halloween together...

bringing them for walks at Two Creeks and Kopegaron Woods...

fishing.... just us and them...

The last time i saw you.... i have to admit... 

i could see the last ten years hit you hard...

but i would NEVER have imagined.... not in a million years.

You were only 35.

When i heard.. it didnt really sink in.

it was unbelievable even... then there was nothing in the paper...

so it was even harder to swallow... 

but one by one... people started to text and call me...

did you hear about shelley?

is it true about shelley?

is she really gone?

shelley passed away...

massive heart attacks?

what? she was only 35?

one year **to the day** older than me.

Where is Ty?

Is he ok?

I have no answers and so so SO many questions.

Im sorry i didnt spend more time with you when you were last in town...

im sorry i lost touch... that i didnt call.... that i didnt care enough... that i wasnt there.

im sorry you are gone and i cant tell you how much fun i used to have with you,

i cant thank you for all the times you.... 

.

.

.

im sorry there was no money for a proper funeral or showing...

but the little gathering at your sisters was nice.

i might have them do it that way for me when i go... 

i didnt feel that chill i usually feel ... cuz it wasnt as cold as those places usually are...

im sorry you will never get a chance to meet your grandchild that is on the way...

Ty's girlfriend is very pretty... shes so young... him too.

we were both younger than them i guess when we became moms... 

i hope he gets in touch with me once in a while....

im not on facebook after all.... i guess that complicates things?

Anyways... i guess i need to say goodbye, old friend.

i will never forget you.

we were like sisters...

and i miss you already.

R.I.P.